The Truth About the Law of Attraction

Silkstaq is a social shopping experience that celebrates you. Shop posts and products from influencers who share your size and shape, skin type, and hair.

Nowadays, everywhere I look, someone is posting on social media about the Law of Attraction. It's "vision board this" and "create your reality that". It's not just my fringe-y new age-y friends (that I lose in droves the minute I quit a spiritual group) anymore. It's fashion influencers and ultra-hip mommy bloggers and maybe even hipsters.

It's awesome, but have you ever been confused about what it means to create your reality? Does it strike you as weird when someone tells you to visualize something random like a green feather just to see if you can manifest it into your reality? Have any of your friends ever corrected your language because you used one of the Manifestation 101 forbidden words of doom: "want", "need", or "try"? 

"Don't sayyyyy that! It won't come true if you say you're trying to make it happen. Trying is not having/doing/being!" Yeah, it gets confusing right? "Don't say you want something, cuz that means you don't have it!" Wait! you think. Am I supposed to run around saying, "I have a million dollars!" when I really have about $12.87 until next Tuesday? 

I don't know. I think it's confusing too. Here's what I do know though, about the Law of Attraction as it has worked for me, and about creating my reality.

You attract who you are.

That's the good news. Because who you are - who you really are - is amazing. You are unfathomably amazing. No one, least of all you, could possibly understand how amazing you are. The Law of Attraction is not about saying the magic words to create or attract a better reality or better version of you. And it's not about having your friends word-police you so that you don't commit the cardinal sins of wanting something or trying or whatever.

The Law of Attraction is about realizing that you are always attracting your next highest steps into your life. You are always creating your reality. It's about realizing that you're doing it right, that something beyond your conscious understanding is handling things perfectly on your behalf. 

When you think you're doing it wrong, that's when you're doing it right. The math on that is - when you think you're effing things up, that's just because you believe that there is a way to do it wrong. We were mostly all taught that as kids - that it's possible to do things wrong. I knew a girl whose parents told her she was doing it wrong when she scored a 98 on her math test instead of 100. My own parents were only slightly less unreasonable (they drew the line at 91, so like 7% different, yeah?). I spent most of my life convinced I was doing things wrong and desperately casting about to do things the right way. 

That's why I now know for a fact that there isn't a way to do it wrong. In my personal experience, whenever I'm at the brink of despair because I can't force myself to change some long-standing behavior pattern, or some seemingly impossible situation, or some emotional response that just won't budge - that's exactly the point right before my reality shifts around me in a Matrix-y fashion (apparently some of you haven't seen the Matrix because you were too young when it came out, so maybe I should say...in a Rick and Morty portal fashion?). 

Because you can only berate yourself, or a hate a situation, for so long before you get bored. When you get bored of being upset about something, a crack in space and time opens, and suddenly - you're a different version of you. A more you version of you. 

The Law of Attraction isn't really about finding the right words to repeat to yourself so that you can magically vibrate your perfect body, partner, career, lifestyle, and world peace and oneness (to boot!) into being. The Law of Attraction is about listening for your true voice. The one that says, very quietly and with a good sense of humor, "you can do it!". The one that says, "it's okay," when you really don't feel like it's okay. The essence in you that feels beautiful, and lovely, and powerful, in a core kind of way that has nothing to do with how others perceive you. But enjoys being appreciated by others anyway. When you clarify and bring out that voice to the forefront of your consciousness, and you follow its suggestions, then doesn't life just seem to work?

There's a buzzing in your veins, a humming in the air, as synchronicities start to pour in. That's when you're miraculously in the right place at the right time, meeting the right people, to take your visions for your life and your projects forwards. That's the Law of Attraction, baby!

After a while of things going swimmingly (expansion), it's very natural for the wind to seem to turn (contraction). Things start feeling hard again. You're tired. You're unsure. That's totally normal. That's the other side of the Law of Attraction, the side that's less popular to talk about. When you're making real changes in your life, like listening to that smart inner voice that actually likes you, instead of the Greek chorus of anxiety and doom (I used to think only I had that, but now I know that almost everyone has that chorus choral-ing away. haha.), it stirs up the psychological landscape, you know? It's like a spring cleaning. Sometimes things seem dirtier and messier than before, but that's just because you're in the middle of cleaning! 

Guess what? Your life seems to suck again, brought to you by the Law of Attraction. No, you can't have your money back. This is just part of it...you're still not doing anything wrong. This is happening cuz you did things right! You made changes. You listened to your own integrity and voice of truth, your Higher Self, the Divine or God, if you prefer. You heard. You acted in accordance with your integrity. Now, you feel like crap. 

Totally normal. Just drink a lot of water and ride it out. You'll apologize to your friends and loved ones later for snapping at them. Your subconscious is just rewiring itself is all, into a cleaner, clearer, more efficient configuration. Get some Reiki if you like. 

There's no magic pill or magic words to say, imho anyway, that makes your experience of life absolutely perfect and free of hiccups. You are always creating your highest reality, by virtue of just being you. You are more amazing than you could possibly fathom in 60 lifetimes. Listen to your inner voice that tells you so. Stop listening to the Greek chorus of doom and gloom. 

The next piece of really good news is that every time you go thru the Cycle (or roller coaster) of the Law of Attraction - good work! You've done a great job, and it's going to be easier next time. It's hard to have perspective from inside your life and brain, I know. Maybe ask a friend. Do I seem more chill over time, since I started with this LoA stuff?

Btw, Silkstaq is here to pepper you with positive messages. It's kind of tricky sometimes, this womanhood thing, right? Are you supposed to be slutty or virginal? In America? Hard to say! Are you supposed to spend a lot of time/money on your appearance, or is that...shallow? Silkstaq aims to create a social media and shopping experience where you are reminded that you are beautiful. That beauty is who you are, not something you have to achieve. That you are doing it right and the essence of you is attractive and that's the law around here ;) 

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Chloe

Our team met Chloe Dumont on a summer day in Montreal. She was startlingly gorgeous in person, which I honestly feel no photo or video of her can ever truly capture. Her eyes are luminous and fringed with an impossible volume of lashes, like one of those Maybelline mascara commercials come to life. We met in a cute Parisian-style cafe in Old Montreal, and when we arrived, she was sitting at a table near the wall, with perfect posture and composure. She spoke bravely about her life and choices, the difficulties she had overcome, and with modest pride about her success as a fashion and lifestyle blogger. Then she very gamely allowed us to pose her in various alleyways and storefronts in the iconic gray stone of Old Port. We apologize that this story is half a year late, but we think you'll enjoy getting to know Chloe.

Q. How did you get started blogging?

I'm from Quebec City. I studied fashion in high school and then communications and journalism in university. About four years ago, I was looking at a lot of blogs in the US and Europe and I decided to start a blog about fashion and what I love. I talk about the new trends with insight from my past in fashion. I was working visual presentation in shops [at the time]. After 2 weeks of blogging, there was an event in Quebec City, the Festival Quebec Mode. I got an invitation. It all started from there. People saw me there. I was getting invitations to go places. The companies here in Montreal invited me everywhere, because I had followers from Quebec.

I’ve lived in Montreal for 3 years. I moved because of my blog. I was always here, so I decided instead of paying for gas, and going back and forth, I'd just come here and see what happened.

Q. How would you describe your personal sense of style?

I don’t think I really have a personal style. It depends on how I feel. It’s more how you make the style your own. I look at all the bloggers and I see inspiration everywhere. I like to mix stuff, to have a little bo-chic and also have a moto-jacket. 

I’m an extremely passionate and creative person in life. I’m always happy. We have only one life, so this is how we do it! Two years ago, I decided to quit everything. I went to Costa Rica and California to surf. If I want to do something, I just do it. I will not wait for it to come to me. 

I started surfing 5 years ago in Maine, just starting it for fun, and it developed into a huge passion. I’m really sad that we can’t surf in Montreal, because it’s a sport that I love. I’ve always loved to be in the water since I was a little girl. When I went to Costa Rica, I was surfing 8 hours a day, surfing with the sun, surfing when the sun goes down. It was a world separate from all concerns of glamour - where you just appreciate the moment. 

In Montreal, I've been able to express my style more fully. In quebec city, if I wanted to wear certain boots, I would have to wait 3 years until the trend went there. It’s really tiny and I know people looked at me strangely. I was parading myself around, wearing this or that kind of trend, while people in Quebec City are more white t-shirt and blue jeans. Not that they aren't stylish, but they don’t go for trends. When I moved here to Montreal, I saw people wearing tutus in the streets, so I knew can definitely wear whatever I want here. No one is going to judge me. I think I can be more myself here, and even more so when I travel to big cities like Toronto and New York.

Q. Where do you see your blog in 5 years?

I did a tv show last year! It really brings out another kind of passion in me. I would like in 5 years to have my own tv show. I do giveaways on my Instagram where people comment on my photos and win passes. I bring them along to interesting events and spend the evening with them. I try to distinguish myself as a Montreal blogger by having really strong relationships with my followers. I want to get to know the people who are following me.

Q. How do you manage your time?

It doesn’t really come naturally, but now thank God, I have a manager who is helping me with that. Just the fact that she responds to my emails and does my schedule. I’m really glad I found her, because at the end of 2015, it was chaos, really crazy, all of the contracts and projects coming. I’m really organized in life, but I think for this, being self-employed - I’ve never done that before. And no one in my family has experience either, so it’s more difficult for me to know how to manage myself. It's running a company. I have also my boyfriend* (*then boyfriend, current fiancee! congrats, Chloe!) who is helping me with budgeting and all of those things. So I have people around me who can help me. 

Q. What are your fav aspects of the blogging lifestyle?

What I love the most is having my own schedule. I’m a deeply creative and passionate person and blogging is a job that allows me to be creative. That’s really what I love, to create content, not just for myself but for the companies. When I receive a mascara, I know every other blogger in Montreal has also received it, so my objective is to create something different. I always ask myself why people will like my picture versus another one.

Q. What's challenging about being a blogger?

Just the fact that people tend to only see the glamorous part of it. On my snapchat, the point is to show the authenticity of my life. I'm not just showing people the times when I’m at an event all night, but also when at 3 am, I’m in my pajamas and on my computer writing. It’s not a jet-set life - it’s a job. People don’t always know I have to pay my photographer and apartment, and I have bills like everyone else. It’s not as easy as it seems. Everyone can start a blog, but not everybody will survive and do it forever, because it’s a job. Sometimes when I tell people I’m a blogger, they think, oh, you’re drinking champagne and going to events, but that's not how I pay my bills! 

One of the most challenging times of my life recently was when I was working full time at night, from 9pm to 9am. I was also doing my blog during the day. I didn’t sleep. I did this for about a year, and then during Christmas time, I was really, really sick. I had to make a decision. On the one hand, I could quit my blog, and on the other hand, I could quit my job. I had a lot of contractors during christmas time, so I said why not? Since I made the choice to blog full time, it’s just grown really quickly. 

Q. What are you fav trends right now?

If you want to be out of the crowd, don’t follow all of the trends. All the trends we see - the chokers, the ripped jeans, the Adidas. If you want to be creative, find a way to be unique. I've seen people wearing bandannas around their wrists or around the ankles. It’s how you make it your own.

Q. What do you think the Montreal style is?

It depends on where you are. If you go in the Mile End, the style is more hipster. If you come here to Old Montreal, it’s more minimalist and neutral colors. It’s funny to see the different styles. In my hood, it’s more trash (Ontario St near Ste. Catherine). They are building it to be more plateau. It’s getting less trash than it was. Sometimes, it’s funny! If you go out during the night, you can see funny things, a lot of people getting drunk. I was with my boyfriend last night and we saw someone crawling. 

Q. What advice would you give a new blogger?

  1. Do it for passion. I know a lot of people do it for invitations and products, but I think these are people who end up quitting. I think passion is the most important reason. If someone asked me how many hours I put into my blog, I wouldn't know how to answer, because I don’t count the time. 
  2.  Be creative. If you want to be a blogger, you have to always distinguish yourself from others. I have a lot of followers that follow other bloggers. They want to see something different. The trick is to appropriate something and make it your own.
  3. Don't view blogging as a competition. When I moved here to Montreal, I was thinking that people saw it as a competition. Sometimes when I told them I'm in the fashion industry, people would think that it’s really bitchy. It’s not really the Devil Wears Prada! No, we are together, we share ideas. If you do it as a competition and compare yourself with others, it’s not going to work!

Q. Random fun question: tell us the story of your tattoo! What does it mean to you?

I decided to do my tattoo on a trip for surfing. I had the idea to do a tattoo of all the places I went, but I decided that would be too messy. If my blog can give me the chance to travel the world, I will be the happiest person ever. 

 

denim button down - H&M

belt - Top Shop

skirt - Forever 21

sandals - Windsor Store 

earrings - Isabella Jewelry